Famous Quotes

I have noticed a fellow blogi has decided to add insightful, thought provoking quotes to their blog, therefore, I feel the need to do the same.


"Runners can't be choosers."

"Spaghetti is best eaten when planning on sleeping alone"

"Just like 'Old Smokey' if it aint covered in blood, it probably didnt hurt"

"When I look at people with that blank glair in their eye, it reminds me of the old flashing curser in DOS, either reboot or upgrade please."

"Dogs only bark when they know its annoying"

"Calling home for help only works when your Mom answers the phone"

"When everything seems to be going well, you must be doing something wrong"

"Sometimes people associate themselves with inanimate objects like trees, cats, birds, movies, ect... I like to associate myself with the two extra cards you get in a deck of playing cards, not really need to play the game but hold all the knowledge on how to play."

"the old saying, 'You're running around like a chicken with it's head cut off', is not very accurate unless the person running around it bleeding profuciously and then drops over dead."

"No, that’s not my pants making that noise, that’s my lungs"

"Kids are our future, so please do not have any."

"If you can dig a hole to get to china, why does it cost so much to fly?"

"Wizards and Warlocks are NOT the same."

"Counting your blessings only works if you have enough fingers"

"Math is a figment of your imagination, I can use math to prove it."

"Plagiarism is only bad if you copy yourself."

"Having an Idea is great, Having a milkshake is better."

"The meaning of life is a mystery, but so is crab soccer."

Well, there are all the quotes that I want to type right now. They were all written by ME. (feel free to use in your daily routine, just remember to quote the great zKeith) Now some may not believe this since apparently the x-mas story I posted perplexed my reading audience because they couldnt fathom the idea that I actually composed it. Oh well, life is great when your Romney's running mate.

No time to blog

I am doing homework, so I have no time to blog. 5 more classes to go, then I am done for at least a week or 2.
back to homework......

Translation is only moments away.....

Well, I had the opportunity to visit the Doctor to see about fixing the only part of me that isnt perfect(besides my weight gain, my large nose, my longer then "normal" second toes, my no toenail pinky toes, ect, ect, ect). It was a lengthy process, they made me look up and down a lot. they make me place a name tag on my chin while they took pictures. They used some little measuring thingy to measure the amount of "lift" of my eyelids. (Incase you were wondering it is still ZERO.) If any of you have wondered what my eye problem is called, it is Congenial Ptosis. There are many terrible things that can happen due to this disorder; luckily, I have never suffered any of the other side effects. The biggest problem I have had due to this problem, is not being able to look up quick enough. Like the time Mark hit me in the face with a shovel while I was making a ring out of telephone wire in his front yard, but that’s a whole different story.
Anyways, there are two different ways they can try to resolve this lift issue. The most common way is to remove a small portion of your eyelid and shorten the “lifter” so that you will be able to open your eyes more fully. The surgery for this is called the Aponeurosis Advancement. The problem with this is, you must be able to lift your eyelids at least a little in order to have this be a true success. The major drawback of this is if you don’t have the needed amount of movement, you run in to the possibility of never being able to close your eye again.
The second option is the Autogenous Fascia Lata or the Frontilias Sling procedure. In this procedure, there is more that needs to be done to make it “work”. First they take a small amount of tissue from your knee or they use something created in a lab and cut it into 4 small 2mm x 12mm strips. The doctor then makes multiple incisions into the brow and folds down the outer level of skin from the eyelid. Then a “sling” is created in which the eyebrows now act as the “lifters” for the lids. I have included a drawing of the process so you can see what they will do. I did not include the actual pictures because it is not a pretty sight. This is all done with a local anesthetic with supplemental sudation.

Anyways, that’s all for now, I still need to decided if and when I am going to have my eyes ripped apart and sewn back together.

Here is a link to a few "work safe" before and after photos of ptosis

Summary of '07

I decided to create a summary of the things I have done and learned over the last year as well as updates on previous posts. I have been a little busy with life so I have not been able to blog quite as much as some people would prefer. So with no hesitation here we go (no particular order)
1. MRI’s - the feeling of being placed in a casket and being buried alive.....Yet very relaxing. I was buried alive for almost an hour and a half...better then a trip to the spa. Am I dying? That’s for me to know and you to find out.
2. Jersey - $170+ dollars and many x-rays later, I found out that my dog that limps and was deathly ill, does not have a limp and is not sick, yet the vet was willing to perform more tests for only $500 more. Hmmmmmm strange.
3. Electrocution – not much I want to say about this other then, holy *&% that hurt...my chest still hurts after that. They say everything happens for a reason and they are right, did you read my blog “Tis the season”? Well luckily I didn’t die or the world would never have known the truth.
4. The gray hatchback – Driving to Sacramento on ZERO hours of sleep after working a grave yard, buying a car, driving home in a Bronco who’s brakes keep locking up = a pretty fun little day trip....Taking over a year to fix a car that was “95% finished”, requiring 3 engines, a complete interior, and hundreds of wasted hours = a profit of $47.54 ( I wonder if I can write that off on my taxes)
5. Bunny rabbits don’t live longer than a week when they jump face first into the concrete from a 5 foot vertical drop.
6. Precious – costs more than the crappy civic hatch cost me. It’s not even my dog for hell sakes
7. I have perfected my ability to injury myself whenever I “fix” something and have reduced the number of times the item I am “fixing” to actually work after I am done.
8. Cooked Ground Beef is only good in the fridge for about 3 weeks before it goes bad, at 5 weeks it gives you a bellyache.
9. The new McD’s commercial with the little kid dipping his nuggets is good marketing. Haven’t seen it. Check out my other post
10. Just because you drive a hybrid car does not mean going 85 on the freeway will help stop “Global Warming”
11. Muck like peoples ears and noses....stinky-ness increases with age.
Well that’s all for this blog, Hopefully we all learned something.

Best Commercial of '07

An Early gift.....

This is a warning to my younger siblings, when you hit my age apparently all goes downhill. So if you think your health is bad now. Just wait. Who knew I would be getting an MRI for Christmas!!!! The thing people think to give as gifts never ceases to amaze me. That’s all I have to say about this subject at this time.


oh and On a side note, I would like to offer my sister my sympathy of the scratching of the iPod. It's always a sad day when we hurt the ones we love.

'Tis the season

Well it’s that time of year and if you are like me you hear everyone talking about what they want or what they need for Christmas. However, you rarely here anyone talk about the meaning behind Christmas. So I have brought it upon myself to remind everyone the undiluted true of why we have Christmas.

Four score and seven years go, the founder of Christmas first hit the scene. Now you might wonder what hip-cat came up with such a joyous and festive occasion? Well that would be your very own Joseph S. Joe bought a brand new fondue pot that he was going to give as a present to his good friend Tony that just had a baby named Moses. Joe was extremely excited about the present so he left JcPenney’s and headed strait to Baby Moses’ house. Along his journey he was riding his bicycle near the Jordan River, when he just so happened to hit a bump and lost the present in the river. The present was in the middle of the stream and Joe was unable to reach it. So he looked around and he saw this lady named Mary. Joe jumped back on his Schwin 12-speed and raced over to Mary and asked of her if she knew how to swim. Mary said yes, so he loaded Mary on to the handle bars of the bike and headed back to the river. However, when then got to the river, the present had moved into very fast moving currents. Mary jumped in and tried getting the present, but as she reached for it, she missed. When Mary missed the present, she was quickly pulled under by the current never to be seen again. This truly troubled Joe. He sat and watched the present drift further and further away, until all he could see as a glistening from the rapping paper which made it look like a tiny star. As he was watching the present, he saw his friend named Chris. Chris was a polo player on Team Bethlehem. Joe new that Chris had great swimming skills and the ability to work well with his hands in the water. Joe pointed at the present and yelled, “Chris stop that present!” Chris quickly jumped into action and dove into the raging river. Chris was swimming like the champion that he is. He was swimming around sharks, bears, trout’s, and manatees’. Joe was standing on the riverbank hollering jolly old sayings at Chris in the effort to cheer him on. Chris was inches from the present, he jumped out of the water, into the air (much like a dolphin), and when he came back down to grab Joe's package, he was struck by a bolt of lighting from on high. Luckily, this bolt of lightning forced Chris’s lifeless body back down into the water with so much force, it cause a wave that threw the present out on to riverbank. Joe went and retrieved the package and continued on his long journey to baby Moses’ house. Upon arriving at his destination, Joe was so distraught over losing two of his friends for this great gift. When father Moses opened the door, and asked what is wrong? Joe stated, “Well.......Marry....Chris.....missed....and this is your present.” And that is how Christmas all began. So Merry Christmas and this is your present.
(don't worry I have a pre-paid eternal salvation card)